buying an extra stocking; christmas in the world of fostering

Christmas can be a magical time, but for foster carers and the young people they care for, it can also be a sensitive and complex season. While many families have long-standing traditions, welcoming a foster child into those celebrations requires thoughtfulness, flexibility, and open communication.

respecting different beliefs

Not all children celebrate Christmas. Some may come from different religious or cultural backgrounds. In these cases, carers should be prepared to support children in celebrating the festivals that matter to them, ensuring they feel respected and valued.

understanding expectations about christmas in fostering

Every family has its own way of celebrating Christmas—whether it’s a special breakfast, decorating traditions, or surprise visits from Father Christmas. For a foster child, these customs may feel unfamiliar or even overwhelming. That’s why it’s vital to talk openly about what Christmas means to each person in the household.

• Ask the child about their past experiences and what made Christmas special for them.

• Consider weaving their traditions into your own—for example, if they’re used to egg and soldiers for breakfast, make it part of the family meal.

• Prepare them for surprises. A well-meaning Santa visit could be frightening if they don’t know what to expect.

  
  

  

balancing joy with loss

While carers hope children will be excited about Christmas, many foster children may feel subdued, miss their birth families, or struggle to engage with new traditions. They may not show enthusiasm for gifts or celebrations, and that’s okay. What matters most is that they feel heard and included.

what foster carers can do

• Communicate regularly: Ask what they enjoyed about past Christmases.

• Make small adaptations: Reflect their traditions in your celebrations.

• Prepare without spoiling surprises: Give gentle hints so they feel safe and included.

  
  

food, drink, and safety

Christmas often means indulgence, but carers must be mindful:

• Many children have experienced trauma linked to alcohol. Keep alcohol use discreet and consider festive alternatives like special soft drinks.

• Be cautious with unfamiliar foods—what feels celebratory to one child may feel unsettling to another.

fairness in gifts

Children notice fairness. Whether birth children or foster children, gifts should feel balanced to avoid resentment. Sometimes, the best gift isn’t material—like saving towards driving lessons or a future goal. Work with birth parents where possible to ensure the child’s best interests are prioritised.

visitors and planning

Christmas often brings visitors, which can be overwhelming.

• Share plans in advance with children and social workers.

• Use a simple Christmas planner to give children a visual idea of what’s coming.

• Keep plans flexible but predictable enough to provide reassurance.

coping with downtime

School holidays, cold weather, and excitement can create tension. Having simple activities ready—like a pack of Uno cards—can help diffuse stress and keep spirits light.

decorating together

If a child joins your household in December, they may feel left out of traditions like decorating the tree. Find ways to include them:

• Balance your traditions with theirs.

• Add an extra stocking to the fireplace so they feel part of the family.

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